A story of how words helped with pain and anxiety.
The phone rang at 3:30 am, I knew who it was before I answered, “is everything ok?”
“I need help, she won’t calm down, she is crying and breathing fast and in pain, I don’t know what to do.”
“Has she had her breakthrough pain relief?” I ask.
“Yes, please come!”
“Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can”.
Running from my bed to the bathroom, I thought they need me now, not in 45 minutes when I have driven there…. I call back.
“Sorry I wasn’t thinking, put me on loudspeaker, I’ll talk to her whilst I’m grabbing stuff and getting in car”.
“Help me” she says through panicked breaths.
“We need to breathe slower; I say to her let’s look at the imaginary rectangle we have done before, breathing in on the shorter edge at the end, good and out on the longer bottom edge as if you are blowing through a balloon, well done, now in again and out on the top edge, keep it up you are doing really well.”
“Are you warm enough?”
“You are safe, we have got you, let’s go again breathing in and out……….
Let’s imagine a hallway, a hallway with pictures on of all the things that you have done in the past, all the things that you have achieved, wow there are lots, I am sure.
“I’ve done a few things she says, and I thought I heard a slight lift of her voice.”
“There is a door at the end of the hallway let’s walk towards it, that’s it, your breathing sounds nice and steady now keep this up and we can enjoy this room. In front of you is a door which is slightly ajar with a beam of light flooding into the hallway…. let’s walk towards that door and give it a push. Imagine this room is just how you would want it to be, the colour on the walls, the comfortable furniture and there are lots of things here that remind you of times when you have used your strengths in the past, times when you have really had to dig deep.
There are large windows with sunshine flooding in, let’s look over towards the shelves. You will see a machine something like an old radio, it has two dials on the front. I want you to reach out and hold one as if you are going to adjust it up or down. I want to imagine what number your pain is now for you between 10 and 1 and set the knob to that number. Now, notice the little corrugated ridges around the dial and take a breath and turn it down, down to 9, then very slowly breathe and take it down to 8. I want you to look around the room and notice the objects that remind you of when you have been strong or what you have achieved and turn down to 7 and then slowly to 6; breathe slowly and calmly because you are now in control, turn down to 5, then slowly to 4.”
“Are you warm enough?” I say, “do you feel able to have a sip of your drink?”
“Yes, I feel so much better, I can’t believe it I was so scared, have you left yet?” she said.
“No, I was just about to leave”.
“Please don’t, I don’t want you to drive, I feel in control again, you can hear it in my voice, I’m ok, I’m ok, thank you, so sorry for disturbing you see you in the morning. - love you sister “
“Love you too”.
When you wake up in the night and you are caught by pain and the anxiety of not being able to get your breath, a message is sent to your brain that you are in a dangerous or stressful situation. In turn, your adrenal glands then dump a whole load of adrenaline into your system to protect you. Amongst other things, this adrenaline allows the heart rate to increase, which may feel like it is racing, and your breath quickens even more.
The exercise used above of rectangular breathing helps to slow this process down, this happens because the controlled breathing informs the brain that you are safe and can relax therefore reducing the hormones being released.

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